The ShugaBowl: In Pursuit of Legal Addictive Stimulants and Intellectual Atmospheric Conditions

Saturday, February 04, 2006

In Pursuit of Legal Addictive Stimulants and Intellectual Atmospheric Conditions

While searching my mind for an inspiration about which to write, I stumbled across a rather obscure website. Scrolling down through the page, I suddenly recognized an inconsistency in the comment box. IOW, there was one I hadn't read yet.

This comment provided me with plenty of inspiration for the day's post.

Hence, this post shall be called "Elmer Fudd and his Wolls Woyce."

Okay, okay. I'm really losing it. No, as you've already noticed, I did not entitle it so. My title is much more descriptive than that. Obviously when you read the title, you knew right away that I was going to write about Starbucks cappuccino and Barnes&Noble.

(You did know that, right?)

Therefore, sheerly to promote the enjoyment of that commentator who seems to be looking forward to hearing my opinion of the day, I pick up where the ice skating story left off.

So, there was this weird guy in a red Jeepeating a Dagwood sandwich who followed us across from Philly. James kept looking back at him in a little mirror to "ascertain whether we should be concerned," however, as the shadowy figure in the conspicuous jeep soon passed our vehicle, I was no longer concerned. For what troubles a James will never trouble a Leslie (unless, of course, a Leslie is involved somehow.)

Mrs. Slack continued to steer the course toward the aforementioned bookstore, while she and my mom conversed as two friends who have known each other for fifteen years do. Parking the car somewhat far from the entrance, we alighted, leaving our jackets in the car as it was quite warm for January. Jbear and I were more excited to be going to B&N than Mom and Mrs. Slack and so we were much quicker getting to the door. And who should we see when we arrived there, but Derek!

"Well, hey! What're you doing here? What happened to the girls?"

Ignoring my first question, he replied that the girls had gone to a restaurant to see if their cousin were there, but they'd be back soon.

Barnes&Noble was very smart to join up with Starbucks in an attempt to lure customers through their doors. It's amazing that people will sit (as I later learned) for four hours in a bookstore and just hang out. As long as they have food and drink at their disposal, why leave, right?

Right.

Into the Starbucks we went. Derek headed right off to secure the rights to a table while James, myself, Mom and Mrs. Slack stood pondering the list of options. I'm never very good at options, and promptly deciding that there weren't enough to choose from, I went in search of several books which had been recommended to me by a friend.

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Call me narrow-minded, but this one looked really dull. I know you're never supposed to judge a book by its cover, but what else do you have to go by if your friend only gives you the title and author?

The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
You could go by the author. Reading a book by this guy is like watching glue dry, boring and not really productive either.

Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux
This one I bought. When you can't see the movie, the book is probably better anyway.

Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostend
This one I bought as well. I'd already read it already, and so I could judge by more than the cover, which is a good thing, because the guy on the front is really dumb-looking.

Scaramouche by Rafael Sabatini
Let's not go here. I'd already tried to read this one once.

Daisy Miller by Henry James
See note on Turn of the Screw.

Farenheight 451 by Someone-or-other Bradbury
I wanted this one, but couldn't find the silly thing. I had to content myself with Vanity Fair, a good book, 'tis true, but a poor consolation for disappointed hopes. :)

Arming myself with reading material, I plopped it down on the table in front of Derek and sat down to see what he had found. A book on Ireland! What fun! I had decided that I do not really wish to go there. It's really an unrealistic dream. I told Melissa, who had just arrived, that I would much rather set my hopes on seeing my own country, Washington DC, Philadelphia, New York City, maybe even Boston, but by the time I had gone through less than ten pages of Irish landscapes, I had lost my senses and was sighing for a sight of Dublin City.

Ah, me!

It was time for something to pull me out of my melancholy humor. I got in a rather short coffee line, in comparison to what it had been when I walked in the first time. Manda and Tohar were just at the front of the line and called me to come up. I came. Felt rather rude to cut in front of the three ladies behind me, but Manda refused to think anything amiss, so what could I do? I ordered my mint mocha frap with chocolate chips and sat down to read a magazine. Manda had a few of them, things like wedding cakes and movie people and the top ten glamour girls in Hollywood (or something like that). Then I realized that there were those same three ladies looking around for a place to sit.

Call me silly, but I actually asked James to come sit at a table with us girls so that the three table-less damsels could sit down at his. And so, when Derek came back to his table, it had moved. And he was appalled that his table would have the nerve to move! For shame! What were you thinking?

Then it was my turn. I suddenly, and ever so nonchalantly picked up his candy bar and put it wth my books. When he realized what had happened, he offered me to open it and take a piece. I never should have taken him up on that one. (I think it was a subtle form of revenge.) It was the most disgusting gooey raspberry syrup encased in, of all gross substances, dark chocolate. It was almost as bad as James' chocolate covered cherries.

Back and forth, back and forth the banter went until I unexpectedly became the victim of a blonde joke and left to find consolation and comfort in the music section of the store. Quickly moving past the stupid sounding music, I found Celtic melodies to listen to on the headsets. I was just in the middle of a beautifully mystical air when my eye was arrested by the name of a familiar pianist. Snatching up the CD and waving the barcode under the scanner, I listened to Cristofori's Dream play as only the composer can play it. *sigh* I never could play it like that.

Feeling much better, I went in search of people I knew. Finding Derek seated in a chair near the magazines, I promptly snuck up behind him. He thought I was his cousin, who had just shown up with Manda, and whom I look nothing like. Melissa came by to show me a particular dress in some magazine. I didn't really like the dress, but I don't think she did either. She only wanted me to see it. Soon, our little group was found by James and then by Mom and Mrs. Slack, who had been looking for me for some time to tell me to pay for my books because it was time to go. And so we went, I with my frappuccino still in hand and James with his hot chocolate.

I don't knwo why I do it. It makes me sick everytime, but I started to read my books as soon as we got in the car. Unexpectedly, but not unpredictably, I soon became quite nauseated and wished for little else than to breath cold air. I hate that feeling. It did not leave me until we returned from church the next day. Remind me not to do that again.

So there you have it, the story of Elmer Fudd and his *ahem* car. :)

posted by cori 2/04/2006 05:09:00 PM

2 Comments:

At 2/06/2006 7:27 PM, Anonymous said…

Hurray! Here it is! The B&N post. I love bookstores - especially when they come with cafe's :) What a jolly good time we always have! Tim, Cara and John: start planning a trip up in December or January. We simply have to do it with you all again!

Cori, blonde jokes are GREAT and you know it! Don't think that you are the ONLY one who ends up being the brunt of such jokes. I've taken my share too (only not as often since I'm not a girl -sorry!).

BTW, What's y'alls favorite B&N/Starbucks drink? I like Barnes & Noble's Caramel Macchiato with cream. Simply delicious!
At 2/07/2006 8:58 AM, cori said…

I only like the caramel macchiato if there's extra sugar in it. It is so bitter to take coffee without sugar. :(