|
Saturday, December 30, 2006
|
|
A Whole 'Nother Language
|
Well, here is Saturday so I've been at my new job for two days. I'm told things are slow, which is good because that gives Janet, the lady who's retiring, plenty of time to work with me and take it slow.
I ahve to say that at about ten o'clock Thursday morning, my mind was going fuzzy with all the talk of packing slips, purchase orders, order acknowledgements, invoices, statements, customer invoices, customer numbers, customer nicknames, and purchase order numbers. I thought to myself, "I have so bitten of more than I can chew. And I'll sure never figure out what all this is about." Then some guy, I think his name was Howard, came by and told me I had big shoes to fill.
Janet is obviously extremely meticulous. Very organized. Everything is either alphabetized (new concept!) or in order by date. Everything has a file in either a bin or a drawer. She's been there seven years, so she has task numbers and companies' multiple names memorized. She can recognize a PO number before I've got my highlighter uncapped. Howard was right.
But it seems a fairly easy job. It's the same thing every day. The same steps have to be gone through, but with different documents. First is . . . uh . . . I don't remember what's first. I have a pad of paper that I've been keeping checklists on. I wrote everything down the first day, so the second day, Janet just had to tell me what we were doing next, and I'd know how to do it. It's working pretty well, and when we come to something new, I make little side notes in the margin. Next thing is to make a checklist of jobs to do each day and the order to do them in. Then, after she retires, I won't be totally at a loss. I'll at least know what to do next. :)
The only drawback to this whole thing is that the computer program the company uses was written in 1981. So it's all text based. There is no such thing as point-and-click anything. I always kind of wanted to learn that, but now that I am, they're switching to a new program in June that's Windows based (point-and-click everything). So I have to learn two systems at once. It's not too confusing however. As soon as I see the black screen with all that white lettering, my mind swings into accounting mode. It'll seem so normal to use Windows.
So that's how my two days have been. You mayn't see me here more than Saturdays and Sundays anymore, but that's an improvement over my two-week absences, right? |
posted by cori
12/30/2006 08:25:00 AM
|
| |
|
-
I'm glad you're enjoying your new job!!!
|
|
| << Home |
|
|
|
|
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
|
|
a.k.a.
|
| Click here for a cute story about a family called Christmas. |
|
posted by cori
12/26/2006 09:43:00 AM
|
| |
|
|
|
|
Saturday, December 23, 2006
|
|
Guilty As Charged
|
I confess. It's not easy to admit, but where else can I begin? I have not been in the habit of trusting God this past year. I don't know when it started. It could be that it's been developing and growing over time. But lately, I've been downright suspicious of anything that smacks of God's will.
Have you ever been this way?
Being as old as I am, I rather thought to have figured out a life purpose by now. Or at least figured out how to tell God's will. But it's as difficult now as it was fourteen months ago when I posed the question to Dr. Fredrickson at headquarters. I asked him, "How can I tell God's will for my life? Not God's will for me as a Christian, but for me personally, as this created being that He took such care to form and give a purpose to? How do I know what that is?" I wanted to know if I should sit, waiting for something to knock me over the head? Or should I try things out, to sort of feel my way on my own. Dr. Fred told me that God works through authorities and circumstances, that I had to trust my parents for one, and God ultimately.
That sounded so rehearsed. I couldn't accept it as sincere. I felt like I was just another question on the test or something and he had memorized an answer to fill in. It didn't seem that anyone really gave a hoot whether I found God's will or not. And I suppose that is where the mistrust started.
I wasn't really looking forward to coming home from HQ. I wanted to see my family, of course, but I knew what life would be like here. Nothing to do all day; no way to use my time. I knew I would feel totally useless at times, because I didn't have active employment. I felt that at HQ, I was at least filling a position that was not easily replaced. And that was a good feeling. I liked knowing that, because I enjoyed what no one else did and could do it well, I was not replaceable when I left.
And for the past year, the despondency did come, off and on. I remember phone calls to friends when I would talk for an hour venting my frustration at life. I remember trying different avenues of employment. Anytime anyone heard of a job opening, I applied. Whenever someone needed sewing done, I jumped at the chance. Pick something. I'm sure I've tried it, or something like it. I was so desperate to find God's will. I was sure He wouldn't make it plain. I just knew I'd have to find it myself. Didn't Christ tell us in Matthew "seek and ye shall find? ask and ye shall receive? knock and the door will be opened?" All active verbs. Not passive.
And every time I went in for something new, the door stayed closed. I didn't receive. I didn't find. And I mistrusted God more each time.
When a friend told me about another job, I had reached a place of suspicion. I knew from the start it wouldn't work out. There was no way my dad would go for it. He would never allow me to apply. But I gave God a "last chance." (It's a wonder He doesn't squash me like a bug for my arrogance. What an inflated idea of myself! to believe that I was in a position to give the God of creation a "last chance." What an idiot I am!)
But God is so compassionate! He knows how I had disobeyed His command to trust in Him. He knows how far I had strayed, how narrow-minded a view I had developed of Him. He knows how black my heart had become, and yet He felt the desire (certainly not the need, because He totally does not need the likes of me), but the desire to prove Himself to me.
My dad heard me out. He said I could persue the job. And I did. And I felt so helpless. Much as I wanted the job, I could do nothing beyond try to make a good impression at an interview to secure myself a place. But because I didn't trust Anyone Else to help me, that was all I had. I was on pins and needles, and I told my friend so in reply to an email asking "how'd it go?"
I said that I was extremely on edge. This wasn't the first time I felt I had made a good impression at the interview, and I had been rejected before. But in reply to my confession of jittery spirits, I received this note:
As for all the jobs that you’ve applied for this year that haven’t worked out, don’t worry about it. Obviously, if the Lord wanted you to fill any of those positions He would have opened the door for you. Or maybe, it just wasn’t the right time. There is certainly no reason to be downcast about being rejected. Situations like that, handled properly, make us stronger.
As for being on pins and needles, why would you be? Though I have nothing to say against anticipation, I must reiterate what I said before: if the Lord wants you there, He’ll put you there. Remember, if He takes care of the sparrow & the lily, what have we, who are a much greater treasure to Him, to fear about tomorrow? Nothing that happens today, or will happen tomorrow, happens outside of His Will.
Tears of shame flooded my eyes. How could my friend trust God that easily? How could I trust God like that? He had denied every petition before. How could I trust God to deliver this time? I was so dependent on myself that I felt it was no use to trust anyone else anyway.
But I cried because I wanted to. I wanted to trust Him. I wanted to throw off the heaviness of finding my own way. I wanted somebody else to take the hard stuff and let me take the easy way for a while. I cried because I knew I was wrong.
I can't say that it's easy to trust someone after they've let you down. You'd think that with God it would be easier, but I actually think it's harder, because He doesn't offer change on His part. I'm the one who had to change. It is not easy to open your heart to someone you feel has wounded you. And that's how I felt.
It was not a complete turn-around. An email from a friend helps, but it's never a remedy, ya know? Crying out to God for forgiveness was the only thing that would give me rest. The next two days were the longest I think I've endured so far. Every moment spent with a concious effort to give my problems to God. Checking the clock every five minutes so see how much longer I'd wait for a phone call to tell me "yes" or "no." Checking the phone every ten minutes to be sure I hadn't missed it. It was a different kind of nervousness, but pins and needles all the same.
I don't know. I'm so fallen that, if God had not answered the way I wanted Him to, I probably would have pushed Him even further away. But instead of forcing me to make a choice like that, He gave me the job. And I am so thankful!
And that day in the mail, another friend sent me a Christmas present, a CD. Music always speaks to me in a way that nothing else can. I've already memorized the words to this song. I won't put the whole thing here, but there is the important phrase:
Were it not for grace, I can tell you where I'd be--
Wand'ring down some pointless road to nowhere, with my salvation up to me.
Ever feel like you've been saved in the nick of time? |
|
posted by cori
12/23/2006 08:32:00 AM
|
| |
|
-
That's wonderful that you got the job, Les, but more importantly that you learned to trust God through all of this. It could so easily have pushed you so far from Him, but instead you did what you needed to do, you ran straight to Him, desiring to trust Him. He said He'll give you the desires of your heart, all you gotta do is trust Him and make sure your desires line up with His. :-)
I LOVE that song! Were it not for grace, one of the songs that say exactly what my heart's been saying. Gos is so good!
God bless you!
Nancy
|
|
| << Home |
|
|
|
|
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
|
|
Monday's Meandering Mindlessness
|
Today was fun.
Once I got past the laundry.
I finished James's sweater that I've been knitting since April. (First attempt.) It came out okay, but I think the neck should've been bigger so he could get his head through more easily.
Then Manda called and invited me to go shopping with her. I didn't have anything to get, but I went along cause I haven't spent any time with Manda in almost a month. Needed to catch up on life, KWIM?
The plan was to go to Mullica Hill to a shop there, but the shop that Manda wanted to go to isn't open on Sundays. :( Bummer, but not a complete loss. Since we were in the area, she took me to a pizzeria two doors down from where her family used to live. I met these two guys that work there, whom I have heard about from Derek and Manda many times, and who they have known all their lives. They were nice guys, pretty friendly and easy to talk to considering I'd never met them before. They gave us a free pizza (nice of them, no?) and sat talking while we ate it. Then Manda took me for a walk down the street to see the house she used to live in.
What an adorable place! I could easily picture Manda and Derek as little kids of, like, five and two years old, running around the yard and having fun. Manda pointed out the window that used to be her bedroom and showed me the school next door that she used to play near.
Different things she would say would strike me as filled with memories--"That hedge has always been there." "We used to get into so much trouble." "This place has really shrunk!" Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have known someone all your life, ya know? like from the time you were born. I think I'd like to go back to Virginia and see the house we lived in there. I don't think I could find it. I was only six when we moved here. I wonder how much our old place has shrunk since I've seen it? I wonder how short our street is now? It's rather long in my memory. As a six-year-old, it took a while to run from one end to the other.
Pulling myself out of a rather pleasantly sentimental digression . . .
Danielle had told us to remember something at Marshall's. Now what was it? (No, actually I do remember.) So we headed that way next. Then to the Ulta makeup store, that I never knew existed until now. And then to Target, where we didn't buy anything. And then, to the mall. Gadzooks is so my new favorite store. Okay, I wouldn't wear everything they sell. Probably most of it I wouldn't, but there are some things hidden in there that are really cool and really good prices. Definitely a place to check out regularly.
And then it was 4:35, so we only had a half-hour to speed home and pick up Derek from work. Can you believe we made it? Neither can I. One half hour and we were sitting in the parking lot, spying the red shirt (with white lettering) through the front window.
So here I am at my pc, recounting the days events for you to peruse. And I can't believe it was so interesting to you that you sat there this whole time reading it. I'm telling you, this is why I don't blog very often. You've got to have something interesting to say if you expect people to sit there through the whole narrative. But then again, there are those, like you, who will sit through it no matter what I say. Gotta love friends like that. :) |
|
posted by cori
12/19/2006 03:33:00 PM
|
| |
|
|
|
|
Monday, December 18, 2006
|
|
Life: Take 17,469
|
Ok, yeah, I haven't written a real blog posts in weeks. So here goes--
Life's been moving along at it's normal pace: "Zero to sixty in, what? like three and a half years?" (Cars)
James's birthday came on the same day as last year. He had the Davis guys over to stay the night. I sat watching Kyle play football on the Xbox with Dad (Eagles- 77, Cowboys- 17) until nearly eleven o'clock, when James and Derek voted to oust Dad out of his game controller and put in a Star Wars game that the three of them could play. They stayed until six or so next day, Kyle playing with Dad, and Derek spending time with James and I playing the pickle game. (He wins every time. But only because he convinces Mom and Jbear that my ideas are impractical while his are perfectly normal, which is so wrong. Turning a family against itself. How discordant of him.)
James got some cool stuff for his birthday. Cuff links, clothes, PC games, a movie (the afore-quoted Cars, etc. He was killing me guessing his presents. My mom had bought him the DVD Cars and a calendar with the characters from the movie, and had wrapped them together so he wouldn't guess what it was. So he feels the package all over and says, "It feels like a calendar and a DVD, but those two don't go together." I couldn't believe him! How does he do that?
I bought him a t-shirt and long sleeve polo to wear together. The tee is dark blue and has all these Einstein equations all over it in white. It says "Scientific theory proven: the world really does revolve around me!" Normally, he doesn't wear tees, but this one was so him. :)
Uh, let's see. James's birthday and then . . . ?
Oh, Mom and Dad went to Lancaster last week. James and I were stuck without even a car to go Christmas shopping!! So right before they left, we went to the library and stocked up on movies to watch while they were gone. Gladiator, Star Wars I, II & III, some movie I'd never seen that turned out to be all in German, and Ever After.
James wasn't feeling so great for like a week, starting two days before Mom and Dad's trip, and so when Mom came home and took us shopping, I think he was glad to get out of the house. I didn't have any gifts bought for anyone except my Grama Kay, and when I got home that night, I had everything I needed, ready to be wrapped up and sent away. I like to sit with a pad of paper and a pencil and brainstorm ideas for everyone. Then I decide which gifts they'd like best and try to get them all. Not all of them always work out, and there's always that one person that you just can't find something they don't already have. But it works and I spend the least amount of time in the store.
Mrs. Carr called me last Thursday asking if I might be able to sew some winter cloaks for her girls. She gave me their sizes and bought all the fabric (navy/black wool lined with pink and purple satin!!) They turned out beautifully, but I am still waiting to let her see them and make a decision about pockets before I am totally done. They are so lovely. I wish I had one for me! :)
So that brings us to Sunday, which we spent at the Slack's church. Joy is home on leave for Christmas. How she got that fortunate, well, God knows. :) It was so great to see her again. She never changes and every time we get together, we just pick up where we left off. She's like family that way. All of the Slacks are. We are planning a game night with them on the 29th, or around there somewhere. David is coming (he's so fun!) and Em & Christian. (Christian's fun too. He fits right in with their family.)
Ok, so where was I? Oh yeah, church. OMS!! There's this guy at church that plays the violin and he's so COOL!!! OMS!! He was so cool! I've been watching him in church for the past couple Sundays, cuz he plays for congregational singing. Dad commented on the "passionate" way he plays his instrument. You could so tell he was totally into it. I love watching people like that--people who are passionate about music. It's great. Well anyway, he played this enormously awesome medley with O Come All Ye Faithful, Hallelujah Chorus, Still Still and a bunch of other Christmas songs and they were all so great. His notes were clear and strong. It was like he was using his violin to sing to us. It was so beautiful. *sigh* I wish more people (me) were dedicated to something that way. I mean, the sermon was good, but eventually, I'm going to forget most of what was said yesterday. That violin melody still plays in my mind. I love when that happens.
Then last night, Mrs. Slack was singing in the cantata, so we went to hear her sing. They did the Majesty one called Christmas At Home. The choir did well. There were some sopranos (big suprise) that were vying for first place in the volume department, and one that was pretty vibrato the whole time, but the alto, tenor, and bass sections were flawless. Their voices blended quite naturally.
Afterward, there were cookies and punch and stuff in the fellowship hall. Had some fun catching up with Joy, teasing Charles, laughing at Charis's cute smiles, and pretty generally having a good time. Around 8:30, I headed home and then to the Davises for a movie.
Every year they play this movie on television on the Hallmark channel. It's called A Boyfriend for Christmas. Can you really get one that way? If I'd known all you had to do was ask Santa Claus . . . It was a cute movie. All the girls loved it, me included. The boys slowly drifted out of the room after the first hour or so. Kyle was the only one that followed the movie through to completion. Good movie. If you get a chance, watch it. You'll love it. Unless you're Jeremy or Derek. :)
Ok. Long post. Goodbye. |
|
posted by cori
12/18/2006 05:56:00 PM
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
| The ShugaBowl |
| Sounds like some kind of sports thing, but in reality, the ShugaBowl is just a little hideaway for me, Sugarcube herself, to let loose my thoughts and occasional creativeness. |
|
|
I'm glad you're enjoying your new job!!!